Katie's
Korner Home
March 1996
Living with Loss
A wonderful woman and strong leader in
the advancement of people with disabilities passed away on November 7th,
1995. Jane Strauss was the St. Louis representative for the Missouri
Governor’s Council on Disability. Four words describe Jane’s work;
"Unity in the community." She had a strong network within the
Independent Living movement; Little People’s Association, Alliance for
Inclusion in Education, Catholic Church, Recreation Council, President’s
Committee on Employment of People with Disabilities, and Victorious
Missionaries, to name a few. Jane was dedicated, hard working, and had a
great sense of humor. Because of her rheumatoid arthritis along with her
being short in stature, she bumped and waddled her way through life. It
never slowed her down.
In living, we are dying. It is part of
nature’s chain of events. But knowing that doesn’t make the process
any easier. As people living with spinal cord injuries, we have escaped
"the end," but we are left with lots of loss. How do you feel
about this? I recall my first thought, "Why me?" It’s ok to
think that, because everyone does.
A lot has happened in the last six years
that has helped me continue living with loss. Number one is the practice
and acceptance of crying. There wasn’t time for tears in my early years.
I was too busy. When you cry you are getting rid of the garbage and giving
your mind, body and soul a way to unload. Anger can be a motivator, but it
should not be a way to live.
A second step in dealing with the
negative is in keeping a journal. I put on my writer pencil and write my
feelings down. I’m not always consistent in my writings, but it gives me
a map of the positives and negatives in my life that I reflect upon from
time to time. Finally when I am ready, I share them with my therapist.
When we keep our losses locked inside
ourselves, they can seem insurmountable. It is through writing and
discussion that we realize that we can deal with, and overcome, our
barriers and that we are not alone in our feelings and frustrations.
Again, in living we are dying. Now is
the time to determine the road upon which you’ll embark. I offer these
thoughts as possible options. In memory of that great woman, Jane Strauss,
let’s each of us try to do and be the best we are able.
Katie Rodriguez Banister
works with audiences to embrace diversity
through motivational speaking
and disability education.
